Choice is a very complicated issue. It is marred with things like love, lust and desires. Economists tells us man is rational in his thinking, reason why men boost their cars, buy material things and boast how beautiful their wives and girlfriends are just to impress the world. Man is actually selfish and designed to have this insatiable appetite for the good things of life. Men always prefer to satisfy their curiosity first when it come to the issue of choice. It is men nativism, men’s peacock. It is the way men were created; the testosterone is always entirely different from the oestrogen. Men would always want to be in charge.
I am sure the ability to dissect a cadaver is different from the ability to choose a wife. The ability to treat malaria right is different from the ability to treat a man well at home. That she is a fantastic singer in the choir doesn’t mean you would sing the same tune at home. The idea of a sexy skimpy nurse or a doctor hanging a stethoscope on the neck remains in the fantasy world.
That she is a good paediatrician does not mean she would be a good mother. You marry a woman or a man who happens to be a doctor, a nurse or a chorister and not the other way round. She is a man or a woman simply first before she became all of those. We have to face the reality that there are so many things to be considered before making our choices.
The questions of would she be a good mom or dad when I marry her should always arise? Would he or she help in the planning of my finances? Would he or she be willing to accept all of my families and friends without thinking them demanding? When life has dealt you a blow, would he or she be your only compensation in this world? When you are sad or you have problem at work, would he or she be willing to console you and always be there for you? When things actually go bad, would she stand by you?
See all these questions have nothing to do with novocaine, acetaminophen or stethoscope. When life has dealt you a big blow, the novocaine, acetaminophen, and the stethoscope would do absolutely nothing. Making these choices has nothing to do with the kind of profession him or her practices.
Of a truth, the physical attraction is very important in the course of making the choice of a partner. The things or the questions that appeal to men might simply be, does she have well-proportioned boobs? Is the yansh so moderate? Are the legs so cute and straight? Is the stomach so fat or very slim? For a woman, it might be: does he have money? Does he have the gang beard that makes him look attractive? All these questions might arise in the course of making a choice but we have to understand that all these lie in the fantasy world.
The syndrome you are suffering from is what I call the vanity-love conundrum. Love is actually very important in the course of choosing a partner. Beauty is vanity. You don’t brawl at someone you love; you don’t get emotionally abusive when you are with your loved ones. When the pain begin to show, you would arise at one of Solomon’s fast deduction that beauty is vanity.
These are one of those things young Nigerian men and women scoffs at. I know there is a common saying, you can marry anybody you like, but common sense should tell us not to stake our futures on the pedestals. You don’t just go about and marry anyone, you make certain big decisions. Forget all the noise in the society that marriage is compulsory, if your own destiny is to keep sleeping around, get on with it. But the reality is don’t ever claim to love someone just in a quest to get down with him or her, make your through intentions known and leave them to make their choices and decisions. Love should not be selfish, love should give willingly, and it should be sacred.
And we should remember there are certain things love would simply not do. Sometimes material things are also important. I remember a twitter poll I conducted some months back in the course of the publication of one of my article in a magazine. I asked some few girls which they would rather choose between love and money. I have some few answers.
Me: which would you prefer in the course of a relationship, money or love?
Girl 1: I would prefer money to love.
Girl 1: Love is evasive, money is realistic.
Me: so from your own personal experience, which have you always regarded first?
Girl 1: I have always chosen money first and I would always choose money all over again because the truth is love might fade but my account would keep bouncing. Reality I must say, that’s her own choice.
Girl 2: I would always choose love.
Girl 2: love is actually a good feeling when it is real. Money might go away but the love I have for my partner would be what would keep us stronger. That’s another deep reality.
Personally, in my own humble opinion, I would prefer smart, intelligent, rich, cute legs, flat stomached young lady. The love would happen over time please. The most important thing is we should be willing to stand by our decisions and choices.
Many variant for a guy;
Should I marry Shantel, the young Harvard and J.F Kennedy graduate or should I marry Charity?
Should I marry Lotanna, the daughter of the multi billionaire oil magnate or should I marry Charity?
It might also be should I marry the popular Kim Kardashian, the successful drama Queen or should I marry Charity?
For a girl it might be;
Should I marry Chris Brown, the beautiful singer or should I marry my most loving Ronald?
Should I marry Carson, the popular Neuro surgeon or should I marry my most loving Roland?
It might be should I marry Jackson the cute millionaire pilot or should I marry my most loving Roland?
Choice is actually very complicated. It is indeed a very big thing. Learn to choose wisely.